Broken hearted

It's one thing when a guy breaks your heart. You may not like it, but you are smart enough to consider it as a possibility and accept the risk. Friends can break your trust and your heart too. Sometimes it's worse, less expected. You don't think of friends when you hear "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do" although is does happen sometimes.

Recently I experienced something worse. My heart was broken... by my kid. I know it sounds ridiculous. Sure, I imagined the teenage years would be awful -- harsh words spoken in anger; the struggle for independence shaking our relationship. I didn't expect it at 5. I didn't expect that cruelty could come from his mouth, aimed at me so casually. Somehow, I foolishly thought that the sweetness of our bond would forever be cocooned, inherently preventing us from lashing out.

I was wrong.

This is the greatest job in the world. But somedays... it just sucks.

How to Say I'm Sorry

Nothing pisses me off more than a person who gets angry with me for being angry with them. It happens all the time. A friend does something thoughtless -- and uses my frustration as an opportunity to throw some unresolved issue back at me. Here are some of my "How to Apologize Tips" for all you poor apologizers out there. (You know who you are!)

1) BE HUMBLE. If you have made a mistake, own it! Don't give excuses, explanations or tell me how much my displeasure bothers you. You made a mistake. You would be amazed how fast the whole process goes when you can simply say, "I know that I hurt you and I'm sorry." I'm not looking for groveling... just sincerity. Humility. Don't use my anger as an excuse to be angry with me.

2) Be forthcoming. If you apologize AFTER I have laid out all my feelings, it feels insincere, as though you are only apologizing to get me off your back. Own it right away. Bring it to me first... and again, things will go much quicker.

3) Don't tell me that I think I am perfect. Au contraire, mon frere. But this situation has nothing to do with me. You hurt me. No matter how big a jerk I am, it doesn't mean that what you did is right. I could be the biggest ass in the world -- but I still deserve hearing "I'm sorry" when you have made a mistake. If you are angry with me about something, please bring it. I am happy to discuss it and apologize myself. But it's not tit for tat.

The art of apology is seriously lacking in our society. It's something we need to work on. It's the glue that keeps our relationships together. We all screw up. Let's find a way to be respectful.

Oh, and... I'm sorry if I offended anyone with this post.

LOL