An ode to my son:
Why?
You ask 1,000 times a day.
Be careful! Why?
Don't touch the lamp! Why?
Please wash your hands before supper. Why?
And then there is the unanticipated why... where you question your own observations.
That school bus is different from the other one. Why?
The dog is just lying there. Why?
Daddy's not home yet. Why?
My darling child, I adore your curiosity. I embrace your desire to know all things. I admire your tenacity in asking this question again and again. But, I have to ask...
Why can't you just wash your hands without explanation? Why can't you step around the dog without questioning her refusal to move? Why do you ask questions to which you know the answer? Why can't you accept my explanation without further probing? Why can't you get out of the car without touching all the buttons??? Why can't you fall asleep without me lying next to you? Why do you insist on chicken nuggets for lunch EVERY SINGLE DAY??? Why isn't "because I said so" a sufficient answer sometimes??
And yet, my love, I still wonder: why was I lucky enough to have you for my son? *sigh* I love you little man. Don't ask why. I just do.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Sleep Algorithm
For those of you with preschoolers, you understand the transformation that occurs around 3-4 years old. It's the loss of THE NAP. When this first started happening with my son, I wanted to cry. His nap was the one hour during the day when I didn't feel like I was juggling 7 things at one time (generally speaking, the whining child, whining dog, laundry, vacuuming, dirty dishes, making dinner, and phone calls.) I actually felt my nerves lie flat in my body for a while, rather than straight up ON ALERT. I wondered how I could survive without that time to myself.
I quickly learned that NO NAP had one ENORMOUS benefit that quickly proved to be even better than that one hour to myself -- EARLY BEDTIME. By 7:30 the poor boy was practically begging to go to sleep!! My husband and I got to watch primetime tv TOGETHER! We ate meals -- made plans -- discussed our days! We weren't merely bleary-eyed adults acknowledging each other with a head nod as we shuffled our way onto the next activity. WE CONNECTED.
Unfortunately, I soon discovered that our boy couldn't go more than 3 days without a nap. This set up a fun cycle. If he takes a nap, he's up until 9 or later. He wakes up at 6 and clearly needs a nap to make it past dinner. So he goes to bed late, wakes up at 6.... you get the idea. It's complicated. One of my friends asked me "So how do you know when he needs a nap?"
Without intending to, I have created a sleep algorithm. It goes something like this:
Derek needs 10.5 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period to be sane. Anything below this and my own sanity is comprised as we cry, whine and complain our way through the day. So we start with how many hours he slept last night. Then factor in quality of sleep -- was it a solid night's sleep or did he wake up at all? How many days has it been since he napped? Factor in any outdoor play (especially cold weather) which stimulates the nap craving. What time did he wake up? If it's after 7:30 it doesn't matter how many total hours he slept, he is just not going down for a nap before 3 pm, which brings us to another challenge of the nap -- if he is not asleep BY 1pm and awake by 2:30, all hell breaks loose for nighttime.
So it's not easy figuring out if it's a nap day or not and what time bedtime is exactly. (although it is usually somewhere between 7:30-8:30) My husband doesn't even take a guess at this point. He just asks me. After all, I am the one with the algorithm in my head....zzzzz....
I quickly learned that NO NAP had one ENORMOUS benefit that quickly proved to be even better than that one hour to myself -- EARLY BEDTIME. By 7:30 the poor boy was practically begging to go to sleep!! My husband and I got to watch primetime tv TOGETHER! We ate meals -- made plans -- discussed our days! We weren't merely bleary-eyed adults acknowledging each other with a head nod as we shuffled our way onto the next activity. WE CONNECTED.
Unfortunately, I soon discovered that our boy couldn't go more than 3 days without a nap. This set up a fun cycle. If he takes a nap, he's up until 9 or later. He wakes up at 6 and clearly needs a nap to make it past dinner. So he goes to bed late, wakes up at 6.... you get the idea. It's complicated. One of my friends asked me "So how do you know when he needs a nap?"
Without intending to, I have created a sleep algorithm. It goes something like this:
Derek needs 10.5 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period to be sane. Anything below this and my own sanity is comprised as we cry, whine and complain our way through the day. So we start with how many hours he slept last night. Then factor in quality of sleep -- was it a solid night's sleep or did he wake up at all? How many days has it been since he napped? Factor in any outdoor play (especially cold weather) which stimulates the nap craving. What time did he wake up? If it's after 7:30 it doesn't matter how many total hours he slept, he is just not going down for a nap before 3 pm, which brings us to another challenge of the nap -- if he is not asleep BY 1pm and awake by 2:30, all hell breaks loose for nighttime.
So it's not easy figuring out if it's a nap day or not and what time bedtime is exactly. (although it is usually somewhere between 7:30-8:30) My husband doesn't even take a guess at this point. He just asks me. After all, I am the one with the algorithm in my head....zzzzz....
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